So here I go on a personal journey to finally make good on all the times I've promised myself I would do this, yet clung to every excuse not to like a child to their mother's leg.
It's true, a lot of my excuses have been pretty convincing along the way. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome which makes it difficult to lose weight and easy to pack it on. My genes aren't conducive to losing weight, and my double-digit-sized jeans are conducive to keeping it on. Cheese is just so very, very good!
But here's the thing. It literally hurts to look at myself in photos. I have begged a majority of my friends to not tag me in photos on Facebook to save myself the pain of that moment when I have to see it in order to untag myself. I'm now about to cross the threshold of not allowing anyone to take photos of me to save myself that embarrassment later.
OR... I could do something more drastic to prevent the embarrassment. I could take off the weight that makes me shudder.
I came to this thought when I found out that the Birth Control pill I was put on to help regulate my PCOS is being taking to court in a civil suit for all the bad side effects the maker so casually forgot to tell anyone about. So I stopped taking the pill right away and immediately (not even exaggerating on that point... it was as if my ass grew that very instant making it difficult to get out of the chair I had moments ago sat down in easily) packed on some weight. Here's the thing though... if I can some how bust my way through this stinking PCOS brick wall and take the weight off, it's proven the symptoms will go away on their own.
So here I go... and rather than make a goal weight, because lets face it... 125 looks very different on different people and could be a healthy weight for one person and be too low for another, I'm going to set the goal of a fictional dress. A dress that I do not own, nor have never allowed myself to dream of owning since it wouldn't hide enough of what I don't want the world to see. A dream dress. A dress that makes you feel so good it's as if it slapped you on the ass and proposed marriage at the same time.
On September 11, 2010, I will turn 30 years old and I will celebrate my entrance into this next decade of mine while wearing The Dress, whatever dress it ends up being. Leading up to that date, I will be vigilant and without excuse. I will do everything in my power to honor my body by losing weight in a healthy manner only.
I will learn to use the energy I have used being ashamed of my body to pay attention to my body. To honor it and acknowledge its needs and challenge it to be stronger and healthier.
There will be plateaus of difficulty and valleys of temptation, no doubt. And through this journey I will only use diet and exercise. No pills. No special shakes. No depriving my body of what it needs to be at its best.
And no Jillian screaming in my ear. This is just me and my bod hanging, getting to know each other.
You, whoever you may be, are welcome to either follow me or join me. And those who join me have an open invitation to the greatest birthday I will have ever had later this year.
And I hope you come showing off that hot dress of yours!
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I know you don't want Jillian screaming in your ear, but try having her WHISPER in your ear by reading her book, "Master Your Metabolism: 3 Diet Secrets to Naturally Balancing Your Hormones for a Hot and Healthy Body".
ReplyDeleteI too gave the cold turkey boot to the Pill, and am in the process of getting my hormones in balance. I spent my whole life as a skinny person, but in six months packed on over 25 pounds, and I am royally pissed about it.
The treadmill will get old fast, so you'll want to come up with some other options. After 2 seasons of Big Love on DVD I was done with the treadmill. If you have access to a bike, go to REI (or buy used) and get one of those bike trainers. I am pretty sure you can find one somewhere for $50-100. Then you can ride, ride, ride. Also, bundle up and get out to walk outside. You'll be surprised how good it makes you feel. I have a favorite trail at Island Lake (the 6 mile mountain bike trail) that I walk, and it is a great workout. The 8-mile loop at Kensington is great too. Don't feel like you always have to run, just keep your heart rate up so you know you are burning fat.
I have a great heart rate monitor that I can lend you if you are interested. Perhaps we can meet up somewhere for a walk. I switched to a Garmin last year, so I haven't been using the HRM.
One more thing, be sure to write down everything you do each day. Log details, like how you felt during the workout, how far, heart rate, and the different activities you do. Try some strength training exercises too, building muscle helps burn more fat.
I wish you the best in this journey, and I will be right with you trying to get my body in shape this year too.
Suzy
I would love to join up for a walk or hike sometime! When I was in Arizona, Gina and I would go on hikes and it always felt great. I definitely want to get a bike happening. I miss spin like crazy.
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